First, if it’s Tuesday, you must be naked. Not all day, certainly. But at least part of the day.

Second, you must be publicly naked. Henry came strolling out into the living room a few minutes ago, nekkid, and when I sputtered “NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOU NAKED AND YOU’RE IN FRONT OF THE LIVING ROOM WINDOW STOP NOW”, his (calm) response was “But Mom. It’s Tuesday.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Henry: “If it’s Tuesday, it’s Naked Day.”

Third: the nakedness must be surprisingly, yet naturally, casual. This one is hard to explain, but basically, you can’t be all waving your kibbles and bits in somebody’s face. It’s gotta be CASUAL, like “oh hai, I didn’t see you there. Yes, I’m naked. Let’s make some waffles.”

Hopefully, this brief, yet informative public statement on Naked Tuesday has been useful. I expect that there will be some confusion, like “is it every Tuesday” (yes) and “can I cook bacon while I’m naked” (yes, but I wouldn’t suggest it) or “can I go to church naked” (well, if you go to church on Tuesdays, you’ve pretty much got your answer). PLEASE don’t send me angry letters talking about all the naked shenanigans you’re now getting yourself into; this is not a mandatory, set in stone rule that you have to be naked on Tuesdays, but let me tell you, all the hip kids are doing it, and don’t you want to be a hip kid? WELL, DON’T YOU?

That’s what I thought.